


Always my favorite

by Fallenangel_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dark Sam Winchester, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 17:45:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenangel_Winchester/pseuds/Fallenangel_Winchester
Summary: Sam's hallucinations of Lucifer finally break him.AU-dark Sam





	Always my favorite

Clutching his side, blood seeping through his fingers...he tried not to panic as a hellhound was growling into his ear..  
That wasn't the worst thing, half blind, vision blurry, trying not to flinch as Lucifer wearing his father's face threw him across the cage...a sharp pain...  
And he woke up, hands immediately going to his side...  
So much pain ...blood  
His hands came clean... releasing a chocked breath he tried to calm his heart...  
_Not in hell...not in hell.._  
A mantra that sometimes kept the nightmares away making him see the reality.  
He was alone in the room, feeling a small gratitude for that. He didn't want for Dean to think he couldn't keep it together.  
Then out of nowhere a voice came  
" What's the matter Sammy ? You had a nightmare ?“  
Sam pretended not to hear the voice, but he was so tired...  
" Come on Sam, you can tell me your nightmare I promise to keep them away.”  
Cletching his teeth Sam stood up and left the room, determined to keep ignoring him.  
It was the same thing, over and over and over...waking up in the morning having no idea where the hell he was, or even if he was alive and free.  
Lucifer's face was haunting him all the time, his dreams were filled with pain and torture his reality a messy reminder  that he wasn't completely out of hell.  
Sam was trying to do a research for the case, but the words kept moving around, sometimes creating a message of " you never got out“ , other times completely fading from the pages.  
Lucifer was singing some crappy song over and over trying to bring a reaction out of him...Sam barely resisted the urge to put his hands over his ears and sit on the ground.  
It was in the middle of a hunt when he noticed something strange, the blood that was seeping from the dead man's body turned black and Lucifer's angry voice startled him  
” I find it surprising to hate demons more than human, filthy creatures...that's why I could never let you become a demon Sam... you're have so much potential...“  
Sam ignored him, but couldn't disagree with him, feeling uneasy staring at the blood as old memories shone through.  
_Ruby_  
Dean brought him back to reality and they left the place.  
Later that day just after nightfall, Lucifer said something that shook him.  
Laying on his bed, Lucifer was talking again, probably to in the mood for nightmarish visions, Sam continued ignoring him until he spoke  
” You know Sam, someone, somewhere said that everyone has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other...and they whisper all the time, trying to pull the person towards them. But you're special Sam. You got the devil himself ...“ and he laughed at his own joke.  
Sam ignored him as always, but something about the way he said it, the truth he denied, the fact that his own personal devil was Lucifer hit him hard.  
_No, I'm nothing like him_  
Lucifer wasn't aware of Sam's breakdown, his breath caught in his throat as he fought a hopeless battle against his darkest memories.  
The first time Sam acknowledged Lucifer's presence was by accident, they hunted a jinn and Sam killed the victim...in his defence the boy begged him for mercy..  
Overwhelmed with pity, sadness, seeing himself in the boy's eyes, he pushed the knife into his heart and as the light faded from his eyes Sam found himself drowning in darkness. What brought him back was Lucifer's voice  
” That's...I must admit that after spending so much time around you, inside your head you still manage to surprise me.. impressive Sam.“  
Sam, unable to deal with Lucifer gritted his teeth, a broken look on his face as he said  
” Shut up Lucifer!" earning him a wicked smile  
“ Finally! Knew that you couldn't ignore me forever.”  
Trying so hard not to let his guilt to break him Sam went after his brother, leaving Lucifer behind.  
Later that night Lucifer was extremely exited, he was giving compliments to Sam, offering to show him the ropes.  
Sam couldn't listen to him anymore, the boy's face on his mind  
“ Shut up Lucifer! I'm not like you. ”  
“ Of course you're not, you're way more dangerous than me..”  
“ I beat you at your game. The mind game and threw you back in the cage.”  
Lucifer's eyes shone and his face showed a little of his inner beast, he looked ready to kill, but Sam wasn't scared.  
“ You have right Samuel. Keep denying the truth and it will be worse when it will slap you in the face.”  
“ What truth ?”  
Lucifer's grin turned into a wicked smirk as he spoke  
“ That you're a hunter...deadly...calculating, trained to kill...and above else a predator. And what do predators do ? They kill. It's in their nature, to hunt and revel after every succesfull kill.”  
Sam refused to believe that possibility, his brother and he they were hunting evil..they weren't mindless killers.  
Yet some part of Sam, buried deep inside whispered that the line between a hunter and a killer was very thin.  
The following weeks Lucifer was constantly pushing him to kill, he would explain and talk, create hallucinations so tempting that Sam barely stopped himself from seeing monsters everywhere and resist the urge to kill.  
Slowly he was starting to fall back into the hopeless pit that was hell, hallucinating about hell, occasionally finding himself holding a knife or a gun at whoever was in front of him.  
Dean thought he was going crazy, tried to help him, but it was too late.  
Lucifer's poisonous words were infecting him...giving him ideas...dangerous ideas...  
On a good day he could feel the darkness pushing through his walls, on a bad day he felt so bloodthirsty he thought he could slaughter an entire sport team without feeling anything.  
The moment came when he killed again, not a monster, but a woman. He saw something bad in her eyes...a darkness similar to his own as he shot her, watching how the life left her body... filling him with peace...thinking he stopped a future monster.  
But the moment when he was alone, washing his bloody hands he came to the realization that hell was right...  
And when he saw Dean, guilt and shame choked him, drowning his inner beast...  
Sometimes he felt like he was back in hell, torture and mind games, guilt and self-hatred letting it purify him, washing away his sins, his doubts and regrets...leaving his soul bare. Other times he felt like he could drown in the blood he'd spilled, but never being able to stop himself something dark inside of him enjoying the power and the thrill of the hunt.  
Lucifer wasn't helping him at all, it seemed that he was determined to whisper in Sam's ear giving him advices, guiding, teaching how to punish, how to be like him. A part of Sam eagerly drank every drop of attention, of advice, feeling like a proud student who got the long awaited recognition.  
The hardest part was lying to Dean that he was okay, his lies always left a bitter taste in his mouth and he felt like an addict..too deep in...no way out.  
After his third kill  
He was ready to kill them Sam, I could see it in his eyes, you must have seen it too  
He felt free, free to make his own choices...not being limited by morals and humanity... it was simpler to give in and accept the darkness than to fight against a part of him.  
Lucifer was winning, but Sam didn't feel like a loser, having someone who saw the darkness inside of him and guided him was pretty nice.  
His inner morals and goodness fought all the time, he had moments of despair and self-hatred so strong that he thought his heart would stop beating.  
But Lucifer's words and presence reminded him that he had a dark side, that he was broken beyond repair and that he had to do something about keeping the dark under control.  
Although sometimes he wondered who controlled who.  
His last murder felt like Lucifer was guiding his hand smiling before Sam's darkness took over and he slit the man's throat.  
He gathered the blood into a cup, watching as the last drops fell in, feeling alive like never before.  
“ What is the blood for ?” Lucifer was curious.  
Sam smirked at him  
“ I'm going on a hunt...I heard hell is nice this time of the year... wanna join me ?”  
Lucifer smirked  
“ This is why you're my favourite.”


End file.
